Limitless
by Yours Truly
Summary: Legolas must suffer the consequences of losing two of the most important things that he possessed: a dear friend and his unbound existence. AL


Title: Limitless  
  
Author: Yours Truly   
  
E-mail: Siberian_blue18@yahoo.com   
  
Rating: PG   
  
Category: Slash--Angst/Drama  
  
Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas  
  
Dedicated to: My great friend Minka without whom, this would have never seen the light of day.   
  
Author Notes: Written for The Alliance of Men and Elves challenge offered here: http://rhysenn.morethanart.org/lotr/alliance/  
  
Latter Note: This fic was granted the great honor of receiving a special mention (highest honor) in said challenge, for which I thank the wonderful Rhysenn.   
  
---  
  
Sounds of laughter, shades of love are ringing through my opened ears  
  
Inciting and inviting me.  
  
Limitless undying love, which shines around me like a million suns,  
  
And calls me on and on across the universe  
  
The Beatles - "Across the Universe".   
  
----  
  
Limitless  
  
By Yours Truly  
  
He is walking. Slowly, calmly, as if nothing in the world could touch him, pristine and unreachable, his features stand out amongst the green scenery, at the same time his entire being seems to merge into it. The entire nature around him seems to hold onto him, to try to reach him as he walks past.  
  
But one can misunderstand a scene. Because the trees and the nature do not hold the eyes that mortals and elves hold, their eyes are their bodies; they feel as they see. And they cannot see perfection walking among them. They can feel the sorrow that hides behind the smile. So they try and reach out for the one whose tears are unseen, trying to comfort and soothe the figure that many a night soothed them with his song.  
  
He is walking. And as he walks he remembers, and as he does he smiles, a beautiful and broken smile. Because the memories are good ones, of times spent smiling in his company, of dark days chased away by a figure that could be associated to the dark itself. Memories associated to one who liked blending into the shadows, but never had become tainted by them; never did they truly reach him. The memories held joy, held smiles and games...but they brought along inner tears and sorrow and regret. Because those beautiful memories had become spoiled, ruined by a new one, a larger one that replaced them and completely drowned out the joy.   
  
The broken smile fades, and the steps walk on faster.   
  
Oh, yes, he remembers now, and he knows why he is here but does not want to. He yearns for oblivion and ignorance, but knows he will never recuperate them. He knows there's a light in his eyes never to return.   
  
A night like so many others, stars shinning, the Moon watching in silence. Innocent words had transformed into double-edged knives that could tease as they could murder; weapons into a hunt he never knew was taking place. The touches and the glances suddenly began making sense, and the strange feeling inside slowly became distrust.  
  
In the presence of the dark, light had dimmed. Slowly...second by second...ebbing away.   
  
Long ago had friendship given way to a stronger feeling, reciprocated and shared among them. Light were the laughter and the love, the touches and the glances that meant so much more. Secretive smiles that lead to embraces of comfort and need. Desire awakened and fulfilled. Dark were the stolen times, when they had to hide and keep their distance, unable to contact and to fulfill their need. Dark were the times when it was not just the two of them.  
  
Dark was the hiding of them.  
  
He walked faster, breath coming in shorter gasps for air. The memories becoming overwhelming, the feelings coming back for more...more suffering, more grief. Can the walker even take this? Can this Light being tolerate another round of memories and anguish?  
  
Will the blue eyes loose another piece of life on them?  
  
The trees try to reach and to comfort, their song one of sorrow to match the day that without this Light shinning, seemed as gloomy as any night. But their branches could not reach him as he walked. Nobody could reach him now, as he walked. Because he didn't wish to stop, and who could force their will upon a prince?   
  
Dark. Dark could. And the pain eats away the Light.   
  
But that night, beautiful it had been. Beautiful and deathly in its passing. Everything had changed that night.  
  
A strangled sob amongst the gasps for air, and the steps walked faster. Towards nowhere and everywhere, searching for a path that no hand had traced upon the ground. Eyes desperate and unseeing. Eyes that were reliving and dying with every replaying image.   
  
That night they had not been alone. So Light had sat down, had relaxed, had slipped on the mask and begun the act. Like every other time, emotion and need hidden by the smile and touch of friendship. Going back in time to a place when they hadn't known each other's embrace. He had sat and waited for the night to take its course. But the course was so much different that night. Someone changed the script, and they hadn't let him know.   
  
Light had been lost in a sea of Darkness when cold eyes had turned in his direction.   
  
Not alone, not alone, his eyes chanted as his thoughts raced when the touches were not well received. The act didn't continue and he was lost. Didn't know, couldn't cling into anything. Was drowning in the gaze that studied him. Words that had been innocent became a knife, stabbing into him and shedding his blood.   
  
He is no longer walking. He runs. Among the pain and the memories he runs.  
  
From what?  
  
The question does not stop his steps...nor does it stop the reminiscences.   
  
His touches of friendship were ill received, and suddenly a hand catches his wrist. Unyielding and hurting, his pride and his shields come up to protect him. But they aren't enough when the attacker is already beneath the layers. Has penetrated through every known barrier between him and the pain.  
  
"Aragorn..." Dark. So dark...Light was drowning.   
  
The whispers were lost in the cold eyes, the plea unheard. He had known eyes were upon them, confused and alert, the eyes of a friend had watched, as the Elf had stood frozen in the ice of the man's gaze. Not alone, not alone!  
  
"No, no, no..." Now his voice whispers what then, it had been unable to. The word that had been impossible to form, but that had raced through his mind just as the Elf now raced through the forest. The cry of the trees was loud and mournful as they watched.   
  
"No more," the Dark had whispered, and the grip on his wrist was rougher, harder. It burned and brought a fire in him that he had not felt before. The fire of desire and fear intertwined. It drowned him, hurt him, and forced him to enjoy it. "No more."  
  
So many meanings could those words hold that his heart raced then much as it did now. His eyes had widened and all the shields in existence were not enough to hide his pain. "What...?"  
  
Dark had smiled, and had brought him closer. Too close, everything different. Light began to dim while once it had shone brighter. Tainted. Tainted. His dark had been tainted, and had become darkness. Trying to drown him, to take him down and succeeding too fast.  
  
Too painful.  
  
He ran so fast he could not be seen, and the trees understood they could not help. The runner had long ago understood the same. Who could help him now? Broken and tainted, dimming and fading...  
  
In front of friendly, surprised eyes he had been pulled closer to the Dark into a kiss. That kiss that marks their fate irrevocably and painfully. Pain. Nothing had come but pain...  
  
He had struggled and gotten free, baffled, took steps backwards. Tainted! His mind screamed. His dark had become darkness before his eyes and he had been unable to stop it. Light was dimming without awareness of it.  
  
"What are you doing?" Disbelief coloured the words, confusion that the play had not continued as it was supposed to. Hidden feelings until it was just the two of them. No one was ready to share the knowledge. They weren't ready to make it real.  
  
But it was becoming real.   
  
No answer but a smile had come then, and now he ran faster, the image scaring and angering the runner. Poor Elf. He runs and runs with no destination. He runs away from nothing and everything. He runs and will never reach a stop.   
  
He wants to fight now, but how? Now he wants to do what he didn't do before. He wants to fight and yell and be angry and hit...destroy the tainted darkness and broke him into a million pieces. He wants to fight the weakness.   
  
But how can he? How do you fight feeling? How do you fight what's within you? How can he fight those tears that refuse to fall? Or fight the screams that overwhelm his mind?   
  
Now it was real. And Light was fading out into nothing, consuming itself with the pain.   
  
The smile itself was tainted on Dark's face, as he dragged Light closer again, using strength to keep him close. His Light wouldn't run. But Light did run. Scared away by the sheer reality of it, knowing that if it became real he wouldn't be able to refuse it later.   
  
"Don't touch me," he had said softly, and had seen darkness take over. Had seen anger and fear in those eyes that held him captive.   
  
Distant words of an alien voice had interrupted the scene. The watcher. His friend was talking, trying to understand what was going on when the Elf didn't know it himself. But his friend didn't belong in this picture where only Dark and Light existed. So he was ignored as the events continued on. Aragorn, so dark now, he had been so angry...  
  
"It's time to show them, Legolas, show them how we are in private..."  
  
"What are you doing?!"  
  
"Come now, show Gimli your other side, heh? It's been what? Days? Weeks? Months? I can't continue with this, Legolas, not this way. I can't hide any longer and I won't allow you to, either."  
  
"Let me go!"  
  
Alien voice and touch, Gimli trying to interrupt, roughly pushed away by the Dark. Legolas didn't know and didn't care for those moments, for he stared hard at Aragorn, his eyes dying slowly.   
  
He stopped running, overwhelmed and exhausted. He sank slowly to his knees, but not even those were strong enough. He lay on the grass, staring at the sky above with unseeing eyes as the memories kept on coming.   
  
"Aragorn, you know this is not right, we cannot...you know this, it will kill me later on...when it's over."  
  
He had stepped away then, turned his back at his friend and made it to walk towards the distance. Seeking solitude and peace while his mind and heart raced through thought and feeling. But Dark had avoided it, refused to give him time to heal, injuring him further, hurting him too much, too fast.  
  
Making some light go out in his eyes forever.  
  
"Now is not 'later on'," Aragorn had smiled, and it was then that he had known it was no longer Aragorn. The shadows he had used for cover had finally caught him and twisted him. Had blinded him. And it hurt too much to face it. "Now, you can enjoy...later you can remember."  
  
Remember. That he did. And every single memory was a stab of unbearable *life*-life that was no longer welcome in his veins, that was no longer wanted in his body...life that was a breath away from abandoning him completely.   
  
"Aragorn, we kept this whole thing as a dream for a reason...when...Arwen will...I cannot do this...I told you that in the beginning."  
  
"I curse the day you did!" Aragorn had yelled. Darkness had yelled.  
  
And with those words, feeling had stolen his life- had invaded every thought, every moment, every memory. Feeling had overwhelmed him, and had gained control of everything that was he.   
  
"I curse the day I met you and knew your touch!" He didn't stop yelling...  
  
His body became a shell and his soul became restless within it. His eyes widened as his mouth tried to form the right words to make the nightmare stop, to regain the Dark man he had loved.  
  
"I curse your selfish manners...and I curse you." His voice was by then a whisper...but it was worse than the screams.  
  
Nothing had made it better. The words came and penetrated through every single shield, cutting through his thoughts like a dagger- slicing his heart in two and shattering everything. It was with those hateful words that he had died while living.   
  
"Aragorn..."  
  
"Nothing. From you I hear nothing. I need, Legolas, I need you. I need more that stolen moments in the gloom...I need you more than that."  
  
A last desperate attempt, the last hope of the dying Light...a candle light against a merciless wind with only one hope for shelter.  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
Silence. The silence was his answer. And his whole being had become a shield, and a mask, and an act. Light was left alone to fade away in time.  
  
"Then, you have no claim over me."  
  
Nothing further was said. Friendly, concerned eyes of a dwarf ignored forever in a subject buried away from memory. The Elf never spoke of it again...too painful to remember friendship shattered into a thousand pieces and love denied for him while simple carnal lust remained unfulfilled in the man. A lust of control he never had, and that Legolas didn't grant him.   
  
Countless years had passed since that moment, and the pain was still an open wound within the proud Prince of the Elves. For him, time was meaningless, but feeling...ah, feelings had become everything. Thoughts didn't matter...he had *thought* he had been loved, but the feeling had never been there. And that had meant everything. Alone, now, still alone while Aragorn had returned to his Queen and had sustained a Kingdom for many a generation of men, bearing an heir and beautiful daughters that Legolas knew, he would have never given. He'd always known it'd end...but he hadn't known he'd be ended.  
  
The Prince had a small colony, near the Kingdom of the man who had stolen his heart to shatter it until it was dust. Bound forever to the memories. Close enough to reach, but a safe distance away to be reached. Queen, Kingdom and children bound the man- the man couldn't reach him. Legolas was bound by nothing more than memories...by the knowledge that once upon a time...it had been good.  
  
Those memories had served to keep him on these lands on those days that his body had been dragged towards the shores to watch the sea; on those nights sleep never came until he heard again the cries of the gulls. On those travels he made, only to see the sea and feel the pull. Feel like there was something out there, where he was being called. Melancholy and nostalgia had been his most faithful companions, as well as one stout dwarf that had remained on his side through it all.  
  
Now, a tear fell. One single crystalline tear rolled down the face of the proud Prince of the Northern Elves of Greenwood the Great. And the nature around the figure rejoiced in its appearance, as did one unseen observer from the shadows of the woods of Ithilien.   
  
Another tear fell, slowly, following the planes of the smooth ageless face. Legolas didn't move to wipe it away, didn't even attempt it; he let it follow its natural course, as he had been denied the chance. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, and the observer from the shadows tensed, almost believing the Elf would renounce to his life, as was a trait of the firstborn. But no...  
  
Legolas laughed. And with his laughter the tears came faster, but he smiled and he laughed, as he hadn't done in endless years. He felt his heart light within him, let the pain roll out of him, allowed every caged feeling to be set free, and a few more tears fell as he did. The Elf stood from the ground as his mixed emotions continued, and he climbed the nearest tree that gently received him among its branches.   
  
The observer watched in a strange mixture of sorrow, joy, and worry. The elven laughter rang sweet, carried happily through the woods, and the long denied tears fell at last...but now...?   
  
"Aragorn is dead, friend Gimli," came the sudden voice of the Elf, and the supposedly hidden observer shook his head in mock frustration as he walked out of the shadows "He lay himself to die...and he sent me one last letter." Legolas informed him calmly, his eyes still filled with unrestrained emotion.  
  
Gimli walked closer, a worried frown marring his slightly aged features "What did the King of Men had to say to the crazy Elf of Mirkwood and Ithilien?"   
  
"Greenwood," Legolas reminded him with a smile "And he had only a phrase to say to me, stupid Dwarf, but he said much more."  
  
He grew silent, and Gimli knew by now when to wait for a response that would eventually come. He sat on base of the tree Legolas was sitting on, and looked up towards his friend while long minutes passed.  
  
At last, Gimli was responded when a single whisper was carried through the silence.  
  
"I am free..."  
  
And Gimli knew by now, after witnessing endless years of hidden anguish and terrible sea longing, what that simple line meant. He looked up with a sad smile and nodded, saying nothing, knowing the time to say goodbye to this Elf had finally come. He sat in silence, trying to think of appropriate words of farewell, until Legolas' voice rang again.  
  
"So tell me, friend Gimli, when are we leaving to the Undying Lands?"   
  
The End.   
  
Please R&R. 


End file.
